I'm internet interesting in Russia,  apparently

Thank You For The Prayers

Dad had a quadruple bypass yesterday morning. I want to thank all of you who had him in your prayers. He is off of the ventilator and looking very good for a 75 year-old man less then 36 hours post open heart surgery.

Parents Of the Kindergarden Set Beware!

Early this morning I was standing in my kitchen busting the suds and in walks my soon-to-be six-year-old. Out of the blue he breaks into the full chorus of Apple Bottom Jeans. I stood there, my hands in the hot water, jaw on the floor. To hear my precious baby talking about shorty getting low, low, low, low, was a bit of a shock.

Keep Your Eye On The Prize

I have a dear friend who often speaks like a living self-help book. I usually drives me nuts but today some of it kind of hit home. Today's topics included setting goals. He told me to write down several of my goals and give them a week of actively working on them and if I accomplish even one I am allowed to count that as a success.

Professionally my life is very stressful. I am the queen juggler. At any moment of my morning I feel I have a least 4 balls in the air that need my immediate attention and 2 or more that I rocketed up really high to allow me some room to breath, but they are still there waiting to be caught.

I have private gaols set for myself that I hope to attain everyday and I am my own worst enemy. If I do not achieve all of my internal goals I can easily descend into depression and anger. My need to exceed the high expectations I have set for myself is very deeply ingrained in me. I was taught from an early age that average isn't good enough, above average wasn't good enough. I feel there is now reason to not complete every order, fully, correctly and in 8 hours or less. One thing I have learned in the past year of running the show is I need the people who work for me. Without them there is no way I can accomplish all of this. And believe I have tried to do it without them. There were no errors but I nearly killed myself in the effort. I began drinking heavily to cope with the stress and lack of sleep. I spent 50 to 60 hours a week at work, hurting the relationship with my son. Which led to more guilt and more drinking. I soon found that a month had past with hardly a day that wasn't spent hung over all morning and drunk all evening. Hell, some mornings I was still drunk and running on 4 or less hours of sleep. The other scary thing was losing 15 pound in 28 days from my liquid diet.

I snapped out of that, it took me coming to the complete edge and trying to jump off. Problem is I feel that level of stress creeping back. So I am taking Mr. Self-Help to heart. I set a goal to go on vacation in 2.5 weeks. I must trust and have faith in my crew that my world will not come crashing down while I am away. The big prize is there, now this evening I will plan out the intermediate steps to that prize. If I was able to walk into my kitchen mostly blind with only a candle and succeed, my crew , with more patience and guidance from me can navigate my hyper-organised kitchen of today. If I was able to take over this post from my former manager and learn the ins and outs in a few days, my assistant, with more patience and guidance from me, can come to understand the physics of not letting these hundred balls hit the ground.

So the goals for this week are privately and professionally are...

Trust, Faith, Patience and

Patience, Faith, Trust

You Know You're A Foody When....

Okay, I know every single one of you have been a similar situation...

It is a true weekend night for me, I have no plans (knock on wood) of going into work for the next two days. I start thinking... Little Man has gone to bed, my boyfriend is busy and I am home with the Internet and some rum. One drink (add or subtract numbers as required), one smoke, two drinks, two smokes, start in on the third drink and you realise you are toasted. Wonderful, I need to get up early in the morning, my human alarm clock will ensure that. Solution? A little snacky before bed.

(This is when the foody starts to come out.)

I have worked all week being part accountant, part chef. I spend a lot of time thinking about food, the preparation of or the cost of. I have spent the past three years of my career catering to the common American. The purchaser of mass produced, basically bland but salty food. I understand trying new things can be a little frightening. I don't want to spend my money on something I might not like. (Side Note: Please, by all means, ask to try it.) Anyways, it is late in the evening I don't actually want to cook food for myself but everything in the pantry looks tasteless, especially to the rum idled tongue. What can I throw into the microwave? What can I do to something microwavable from the pantry to make it palatable? Solution? Add big flavor and some kick.... Chicken noodle soup with a large dose of red curry paste, that has a permanent home in my refrigerator. Toss in a couple crackers and this sweat inducing concoction has be still feeling buzzed but refreshed.

Hey Dude, She Lives

Two years later I step back into your lives hoping and praying you haven't completely given up on me. Yeah, Yeah. I know, I've done it before. I'm sorry.

Short and sweet....
The divorce was finally finalized last summer. I took over as manager at the tilt skillet. The kid is about to graduate kindergarden. I bought and sold a couple cars, stalled out on working on the house and found someone who I apprieciate very much.

Love Ya

A Wasted Day of My Life

I have spent entirly too much time this week working on being a good citizen. In total I have about eight hours spent waiting just to find and put on unstudded tires on my car. Tell me, does it really have to be this difficult? Anyhow, that part is taken care of.

Now for the big news! I am moving out. My child will again have his own room. I can again enjoy the pleasures of not tripping over trains int eh dark in my own room. Unfortunatly I believe the small retarded dog will be moving with me, but the kid loves the damn things so I will try to accept and train the darn thing.

And for the others of you that read the last post and were also confused.... I AM NOT THE ONE PREGNANT!