Thursday, June 23, 2005

Happy Happy Birthday Baby

Oh my, my little one is now three years old. Time flies. I still recall with vivid detail the day you were born. Actually it took a couple days for you to be born, but I will have plenty of time to tell you about that when you get older.

Sweetpea, I know things are a lot weird right now but please know that I am only doing this to make things better in the future. Everyone knows that I want the world for us, especially you. That is what I am trying to do. I promise things will get better, stuff will calm down between me and your dad.

You got to celebrate your birthday at Chuck E. Cheese this year. You sure have grown and matured since the last time you were there. C.E.C. is now starting to be fun for me too because of this.

Thank you for this adventure so far and I am very much looking forward to many more years of learning and growing with you.

With All My Love, Mom

Saturday, June 18, 2005

So Much

Wow! I am still surprised every day by just how much there is involved with getting divorced. I can now understand why people pay lawyers so much to do it for them.

I have my son with me again. His dad failed to return him home after a weekend visit and had him for about two weeks. Many people asked why I didn't just go and take my son back. I wanted to go through the proper legal paths and I didn't want it to be a stressful situation for my son. I wish I hadn't had to do it the way I did, but my son is happy and healthy and with me. As his dad said more than once he only wants custody of our son to punish me. I want custody of our son becuase I believe in the long run, after all this settles down, my maternal instincts and pure undieing love will ensure my son a happy healthy life.

I am not saying his dad won't be in his life. I have seen how much my son loves his dad and enjoys spending time with him, I can not denia my son something he enjoys, no matter my feelings towards the man. But I have also seen how my son behaves after spending time with his dad. Especially after the extended stay, my son is very clingy. He will not be in a room without me and often spends all day in some sort of physical contact with me. He has been in my lap this entire morning. He has reverted back to not allowing me to go to the restroom alone. The progress we had been making towards potty training is almost all gone.

I know the divorce is effecting my son and that is some of the reason for the reverting, this breaks my heart. However, I believe that staying together will be more detrimental to my son than this period of adjustment.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

My Baby

I was "allowed" to see my son today for three hours. "Allowed" by the man who kidnapped him from me a week ago.

It was wonderful, even though I had to put up with my husband being rude and mean. My son walked into the house, his eyes got big, he looked around the room, he looked at me again. Then he ran over to the door and shut it, than ran up to me and gave me a big hug. I believe, in his three year old mind, shutting the door was his way of making sure I couldn't not be around.

My husband got the divorce papers today, that is why he let me see my son. He realised it was only making him look bad by keeping my son away from me. So tomorrow (today) or Moday he will recieve the other papers I filed to get custody of my son during the divorce proceedings.