Monday, May 16, 2005
I woke up this morning, this third morning in a row. I could hear birds chirping outside, I could hear the dog shifting in his sleep. I could hear these things because it was so quiet. Quiet for the third day in a row. A quiet I was not used to. A quiet no one in the house we now live in has experienced for three weeks. There was a slight peek of the sun. A sun that has been absent since you left three nights ago. I was happy to have slept, no one stealing my covers, no one kicking me in the head. I was unhappy you were not there to disturb my sleep. I was happy to be awake for I was having bad dreams. I was unhappy to be awake for now those dreams would enter my conscious thoughts. Dreams of you. Dreams of all my deepest fears coming true. Dreams where a man takes you away from me, forever. Three mornings of sleeping in. Three days of sitting and reading. Three nights of not listening to you breathe as I drifted off to sleep. Three mornings spent in my half sleep looking around the room for you. Three days of sitting by the phone waiting for phone calls, waiting for news, waiting to talk to you, waiting for your return. Three nights laying in bed missing you. Three years of not spending more than 12 hours away from you have led to these three days of not knowing what to do with myself. Three long days.